In the beginning of the summer, my friend Jalisa wrote a great post about Feminism and Relationships, mainly posing the question can we be good feminists but still maintain a relationship with someone? And with that, how can we ensure equality exists within said relationship?
During the summer, I entered a relationship, but so many questions loomed in my head, the main being how will I maintain my feminism while being in a relationship? In Latin culture, when you enter a relationship, certain traditions stand firm while others change from generation to generation. For my generation, there is no longer the speech from the grandparents about finding a husband to take care of you, but one about finding a good job to take care of yourself THEN finding a husband to take care of you. Granted, we’ve come a long way from the 50s, but Latin culture can not change overnight.
I’ve had internal struggles this summer while in a relationship, mostly about where I stand as a post-grad Feminist who has now entered the beginning stages of a romantic relationship. As I began applying for jobs, I realized that I couldn’t only think of myself when it came to job locations, but then I thought to myself what about if it’s where my career is headed? Should I listen to the Feminist inside me and move forward, should I step back and find something local, or should I stop over-thinking things? One thing I ask myself all the time, I know relationships are all about compromise, but is my feminism too?
After having a light conversation with my partner about feminism, I’ve come to the conclusion that he is a feminist as well, although he is not jumping up and down to claim the title. He is supportive of my career path and understands my struggles of being a strong-minded woman enclosed in conservative Latin culture. What I continue to struggle with is the small things that loom ahead— will my feminism slowly fade away from me as I get older? I certainly don’t think so now, and I will fight to stay true to my core everyday.
Being a good feminist isn’t just about proclaiming it to the world and being active, it’s also about the little things as well. We stay true to our core because we believe in equality. Although certain traditional ideologies may come out of a romantic relationship, follow your core, and let it guide you as you make choices as a couple. Always speak up about issues you may have. No matter what happens, remember to be the change, not just in your relationships, but in your community as well.